Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?
by immafullait22
Summary: AU that starts out cute and turns angsty in the end. All Castiel's friends want is to get him outside to build a snowman...or even just come out of his room at all. Please read both Author's Notes, beginning and end, as they both hold important information to the story (mostly the end one). Hope you enjoy! R&R!


**Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?**

**A/N: Helllllloooo Fanfiction, I'm back. And I should be working on my chapter fics (Babysitting a Colour Changing Monster and The Half Blood Games), but I haven't been interested lately. This little story has been dancing around my head all day, since I just watched Frozen yesterday (I cried). So here it is. This is an AU and references cutting, so if you don't like those things, I suggest you don't read. Here we go!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Frozen. I do own Hayley and the idea.

The snow fell softly on the already blanketed ground. All down the street, children with red noses and flushed cheeks played in the cold, giggling and screeching as they chased each other round and played games. The snow had caused the school to close its doors for the day, allowing the children of the neighborhood to roam free in the snow-covered lawns and streets, while parents stayed inside with a warm drink, watching from the windows to make sure the smallest of the little ones was being taken care of by the elders.

The kids from the orphanage were no different: all of the orphans joined the other children outside to play. The older ones built forts and made teams for the ultimate snowball fight. The younger ones chased each other around, making snow angels and building snowmen. Everyone was everyone's friend for the day.

"C'mon Dee, c'mon!" Six year-old Sam Winchester cheered, dragging his brother excitedly towards the door. "Let's go play. C'mon!"

Dean laughed at his brother's excitement, "Slow down Sammy, we're not even dressed for the snow. And Molly said we gotta wait for Gabriel to take us."

Sam pouted. He had been present when the head of the orphanage had given those instructions, but it was snowing! Didn't Dean understand that? Of course he must, it was right outside the window!

Dean saw his brother's frustration and grinned. "Alright Sammy," he ruffled his younger brother's hair, "why don't you go find Hayley?"

Sam's expression immediately changed with the mention of his best friend (aside from Dean of course). The six year-old jumped up and rushed off down the hall as fast as his legs could carry him.

Dean smiled after his brother. He was glad Sam was too young to remember their parents, who had died in a house fire years ago. It made it easier for the younger Winchester to adjust to the orphanage. Before Dean could think too much on it, a distraction came in the form of his own best friend, who was racing down the hall towards him.

"Hey Cas!" Dean called out. Castiel looked up, and in his haste, tripped over the edge of a rug, falling spread-eagled towards the ground.

Dean laughed and jogged over to his friend, "You okay, man?"

Castiel Novak was horribly clumsy, constantly tripping over rugs, stairs, and sometimes his own feet. Dean felt bad the first couple times, but after a while when he realized Cas was always okay after, he couldn't help but laugh at the dark-haired boy. Cas rolled to his back and looked up at Dean, taking the hand that was offered to him.

"I'm okay."

Gabriel came around the corner as Dean helped Cas to his feet. The eldest boy had two small giggling forms attached to his legs that Dean realized were Sam and Hayley. As the two clung to Gabriel, he awkwardly lumbered towards Dean and Cas, carrying a box of snow clothes.

"Here, find your stuff," Gabriel shoved the box into Castiel's arms before reaching down and carefully peeling Hayley off of his leg, while Dean grabbed Sam. It only took a few minutes for the group to get dressed and ready to go, and then they were out the door.

All was well, for a while. They started out simple, making snow angels, and everyone's personal favorite, a snowman. Then the snowball fight started. Gabriel teamed up with the little ones, who still had trouble making snowballs, while Dean and Cas partnered up and made a makeshift snow fort. The battle was in its high, with both teams tied up on hits.

"Dude, make another two," Dean commanded, and Cas obeyed, "I'll go for Gabe, you go for Sammy and Hayley. Ready?"

"Ready." Cas agreed, holding up one of his snowballs.

Dean crouched towards the edge of the snow fort. "When I say three, we jump to the front and open fire, got it? One…two…three!"

The pair jumped around their fort and quickly found their targets, aiming and firing before the other team could. Dean gave a jump and a cheer when his snowball hit Gabriel's chest, then turned to his friend to share the excitement. But Cas didn't look too excited, and Dean quickly realized why when he heard Hayley start to cry.

"You're not suppos'ta aim for our faces, Cas." Sam whimpered, holding his own cheek, while Gabriel tended to Hayley, trying to get her to calm down as he cleaned the snow off of her face.

Cas looked helpless and guilty, "I didn't _mean to_…" He started forward slowly.

"It's alright, it was an accident." Gabriel said gently, more to his brother and Hayley than to anyone else. He turned to say something to his brother, but received knuckles roughly against his lips. Castiel's clumsiness had once again proven itself strong, as he slipped on ice and landed a flailing hand to his brother's mouth before falling face first into the snow.

After that Molly came out and brought everyone inside. In the end, Sam and Hayley had red marks on their faces and Gabriel was nursing a fat lip. And Cas had locked himself in his bedroom.

Dean tried to get him out, calling and knocking and insisting. But he only got a single sentence in response.

"I'm not ever coming out!"

Dean didn't realize at the time how true those words would hold.

Only two months had passed, and there was still plenty of snow on the ground to play. Sam and Hayley's faces had returned to normal color months ago, and Gabriel's lip had shrunken back to normal size. And Cas still wouldn't come out of his room. Well, sort of.

Castiel still came out for meals, briefly, but then quickly returned to his room and wouldn't let anyone in, not even Gabriel. It was like he'd disappeared. Dean was beginning to miss his best friend a lot.

Sam and Hayley wanted to go play in the snow, "'fore it melts _away_. _C'mon_ Dean, _c'mon_ Gabe! _C'mon_ Crowley!" (that last one had been met with an annoyed, British-accent-laced "_No._")

As everyone got ready to go outside, Hayley spoke up, looking up at the older boys curiously.

"Where's Cas?"

Gabriel and Dean glanced at each other, then Gabriel grinned back down at Hayley, zipping up her coat. "C'mon kiddo, let's go get him."

Gabe lifted Hayley up over his head, making her squeal in delight as the boy raced off towards his brother's room. Dean scooped Sam up for a piggy-back ride and took off after them. They arrived outside of Castiel's bedroom door, and Gabriel put Hayley down so he could knock. Their special knock.

_Tap tap taptap tap_

"Cas?"

Before Gabe could say anything else, Hayley started singing playfully.

"_Do you wanna build a snowman? C'mon let's go and play!_"

Gabe smirked and played along, "_We never see you anymore, come out the door. It's like you've gone away!_"

Dean decided he wanted to add on, if everyone else was, and sang, "_We used to be best buddies, and now we're not. I wish you would tell me why!_"

Sam giggled and chimed in, "_Do you wanna build a snowman?_" He pushed his chubby face right up in front of the door and sang into the keyhole, his words muffled, "_It doesn't have to be a snowman…_"

Before anyone could add on, Cas's voice floated through the door.

"Go away, guys."

Sam and Hayley frowned sadly, and sang one more line together, "_Okay, bye._"

The younger two then grabbed each other's hands and started for the front door. Gabriel and Dean hesitated by the door before turning and heading off after the little ones before they could go too far.

Years went by. Sam had celebrated his ninth birthday that past spring, but he wasn't in the celebratory mood. Hayley had been adopted and moved away the year before. Sam matured quite a bit since then. He would still play with Dean from time to time, but most of the time all he did was read or do homework. He missed his best friend.

Dean understood what Sam was going through. He was having best friend troubles himself. Cas still hadn't come out of his room for longer than a meal or a bathroom trip, and if Dean did manage to catch him while he went to or from his bedroom, Castiel made the conversation short and quipped, and he looked sad to do so. He always looked sad when Dean saw him.

Dean didn't get along with any of the other kids too well, and with his brother reading and Gabe locked away "studying for an important exam coming after break" (yeah right), Dean decided to use his last resort.

The thirteen year-old hesitated outside of Cas's door. He had a feeling he already knew the outcome of this endeavor, but he had to try. He just had to.

An idea came to Dean as he rapped his knuckles on Cas's door, using the special knock, and as he finished he began his song: "_Do you wanna build a snowman? Or ride our bike around the halls?_"

Dean remembered the first time he had offered a bike ride around the halls. They were nine then. Dean had rode in front, steering and peddling, while Cas had sat on the back seat, his arms wrapped around Dean's thin waist and his head buried between the light-haired boy's shoulder blades. Dean smiled at the memory and continued his song.

"_I think some company is overdue, I've started talking to the pictures on the walls!_" Dean turned around, pointing and winking at the picture on the wall behind him, even though he knew Cas couldn't see it.

"_It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms, just watching the hours tick by!_" Dean clicked his tongue comically a couple of times for emphasis, then pressed his ear against the door, listening for a laugh or even just a chuckle, something to egg him on. But there wasn't a single sound.

Dean sighed heavily and turned away, heading back the way he came. Maybe he could get Sam to set his book down long enough to play with his older brother.

The halls of the orphanage were dark and quiet, with the rain beating down on the roof gently. Gabriel walked through the halls slowly. Sam and Dean had been adopted years ago, together thankfully. He had almost been taken away himself a couple of times, but had insisted that he wouldn't go unless Cas went with him. That proved difficult, since Cas never came out of his room. No one wanted to adopt a boy who they couldn't even see.

Gabriel was eighteen years old now, and it was his last day at the orphanage. He had found his own place, and was all set to go. Only he wasn't allowed to bring Cas. Molly had sadly explained that Cas had to stay for at least another year, so that it was sure that Gabriel was stable enough on his own to provide for both of them. Gabriel thought that was a load of crap, but never said it out loud because a little part of him knew she was right.

All the teen really wanted was to get his little brother out of his room one last time before he left. Just once. Gabe stopped in front of his brother's door, and hesitantly knocked three times.

"Castiel?"

He was met with silence, as usual. Gabe sighed but didn't give up, "Please…"

"_I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been._" Everyone who didn't know was asking, anyway. Though anytime he got into contact with Dean, the sixteen year old would ask hopefully if Cas had left his room yet. He was always met with disappointment.

Gabriel sighed again. He remembered his fears of living on his own, "_They say 'Have courage' and I'm trying to. I'm right here for you, just let me in._"

Silence. Damn, Castiel was stubborn. Gabriel frowned and leaned against the door.

"_We only have each other. It's just you and me. What are we gonna do?_" Gabriel slowly slid until he was sitting against the door. He closed his eyes out of sadness and weariness, and though it was summer, he finished with an all too familiar phrase.

"_Do you wanna build a snowman?_"

His question was met with the usual nothing. Gabriel exhaled deeply and rested his head to his knees, staying there for some time.

The soft sound of a lock clicking echoed through the empty hallway. Castiel stepped out of his bedroom ever so silently, looking down both ends of the hallway. He tried going to Gabriel's room. It was empty. He headed for the great room instead, and found Molly, sitting at her desk. Cas cleared his throat gently.

Molly turned around and smiled gently at Cas. Her eyes held sadness that Castiel dreaded to know the reason for.

"Hello Castiel. Are you hungry?"

"Where's Gabriel?" Castiel asked gruffly, ignoring her question.

Molly seemed even sadder than before, "Oh sweetheart. He left for his new apartment, about ten minutes ago. You just missed him. I'm sorry."

Castiel felt a lump form in his throat. He barely heard Molly ask him again if he wanted something to eat, and dismissed the question, saying he wasn't hungry. He numbly made his way back to his room, locking his door for the final time.

Castiel sat heavily on his bed. In his downward spiral of thoughts, all his subconscious could put together was _'You'll never see them again. Never.'_

The sixteen year old stared down at the red, pink, and white zig-zags on his wrists, and brokenly, his voice barely above a whisper, began to sing.

"_Yes I wanna build a snowman. C'mon let's go and play. I know I haven't seen you anymore, I locked the door, I never meant to stray. I didn't want to harm you, but as it is, I guess I just hurt myself…yes I wanna build a snowman…_"

The dark-haired teen hung his head. And in the dark, a single tear fell and hit his battered wrists.

**A/N: Whoa. That was probably the angstiest thing I've ever written in my entire life.**

**So there it is. The reason I had Cas go through all that (poor bby I'm so sorry) was because I figured I'd make his character go from extreme anxiety to depression over the years. That's why he blew the little accident out of proportion. Also, I figured he would have come from a place where he and Gabriel were punished with isolation for making small mistakes. All together it made Cas go really hard on himself.**

**I was originally gonna have Crowley be the one who shut himself away, but I thought Cas would be easier to write, with his strongest bonds being Gabe and Dean. Plus, it was fun to have Crowley thrown in that one little cameo. **

**I'm sorry-not-sorry if I hurt anyone's feels! Thanks for reading!**


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